Nine Important Facts to Remember as You Grow Older:
Number 9
- Death is the number 1 killer in the world.
Number 8
- Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 7
- Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 6
- Men have two emotions: hungry and horny, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich, you have a 50% chance of being right...
Number 5
- Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
Number 4
- Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
Number 3
- All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 2
- In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.
Number 1
- Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow.
...and as someone recently said to me:
Don't worry about old age; it doesn't last that long.
Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer you get to the end, the faster it goes.
ReplyDeleteNow I remember what I forgot to buy at the grocery store.
DeleteYes, well, thank you for that. I think.
ReplyDeleteThat was my thought when I saw it.
DeleteWhat BP said.
ReplyDeleteWhat I told him.
DeleteBwahahahahahaha. These are all so very true. I linked you to Silly Sunday.
ReplyDeleteHave a fabulous day. :)
What is this 'hungry' of which you speak? . . .
ReplyDelete;)
I'm a bit curious about that myself. :D
Delete