Just for fun

I figure if George the Sixth* and the Timid Venus* can do it:

a couple of other names that showed up: Dominic Monaghan, Anthony Quinn, Al Pacino(?), Neil Armstrong and Colin Firth.

...and I'm still thinking
about that parrot joke

*Anyone want to bet they want to know how I was able to fit the whole thing

I'm still thinking about that joke

.
.
Meanwhile...


Chances Are Good We'll Get to Denver or Somewhere Near It
Stressed flight attendant, after four-hour delay: Folks, we've just been cleared for immediate departure. (passengers cheer) All passengers must be seated, with your seat belts fastened for takeoff. To do so, insert the metal--well, if you can't figure it out for yourself, you're in trouble. If at any point an oxygen mask appears in front of you, you'll want to put that on. In the event of a water landing occurring between St. Louis and Denver, there will be a flotation device under your seat and about three feet of snow in hell. Emergency exits--front, over-wing and rear--wherever it says so. Don't even think about smoking. See the safety information card for the rest. Here we go.

Runway
St. Louis Airport, Missouri
via Overheard Everywhere, Dec 31, 2008

It's a parrot joke, okay?
A shaggy parrot joke.

Weather

.
I just received an email from Cecil, who is camped somewhere "in the hills East of San Diego." He reports that it was 73 ̊ yesterday.
I emailed him back and told him to "shut up!"

That reminds me of a joke

friends & relatives collider update

I just received an email from my sister-in-law letting us know that they were heading back to Maui on January 15. they plan to stay until March 10. She has invited us to come for a visit.
My thought is that if I get together with all of the others she invited, we may be able to charter a plane, thus saving on the airfare. I just hope there's enough room at their place for us.

Update

. .
It's cold and it may rain again today.
And thanks to Christine, I know what a canola is.

Now everyone will want to know who Christine is.

My friend Brian, who compared to me is a neighbor of Christine, posted about being tempted to write to his newspaper in response to a letter to the editor. I used to enjoy reading the letters to the editor in our paper. But that no longer is the case. It used to be that folks wrote about issues when they wrote to the editor. Today it seems that almost every letter is a personal attack against someone. Worse, it is usually attacking someone who wrote a letter to the editor. Even worse than that, it seems like there are only four or five folks who write letters to the editor.
So I shall not write letters to the local paper because I don't want to even be associated with any of those individuals.

There's no punchline because it's not a joke

It finally happened

It froze over

uh huh

.
.

marriedtothesea.com
.
.

Maybe they'll 'splain it on the Food Network?

Just passing this along

.
.
An old acquaintance from my college days sent the following:

A dog is truly a man's best friend.
If you don't believe it, just try this experiment.
Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for an hour.
When you open the trunk, who is really happy to see you????????

Small wonder he is single a living alone

in his usual perch

This was before dinner




Claims he was just resting his eyes

Sign in a mall

.

...and that's only the first option

New all time favorite movie line

.
“The shootings, the knifings, the beatings… old ladies being bashed in the head for their social security checks… Nah, that doesn’t bother me.
But you know what does bother me? You know what makes me really sick to my stomach? It’s watching you stuff your face with those hot dogs. Nobody… I mean nobody puts ketchup on a hot dog.”

~ Harry Callahan (Clint Eastwood) in ‘Sudden Impact’


You tell 'em Harry

One more

I made it back

.

In one piece.
It appears that some don't want to survive the holiday.

They're all a bunch of animals

I am going out now

.


It is the day before Christmas Eve and I am going to venture into stores to food shop for a party this evening and for the main course on Christmas.
Everything I have heard lately tells me that it is a real 'animal show' this year. So, I am not looking forward to this little adventure.
Who knows. I may be ready to share some of that Scotch with the Brighton Pensioner.

We all really know better than that

Tempting target

.

Yesterday the muse was in a strange mood so I posted a blank space . I did it partly because I can and partly to see what would happen. Interestingly enough the Brighton Pensioner posted a comment.
It has been just about all I can do to keep from going back and editing. If I was truly evil, I would.
Instead I wandered around the house with a conspiratorial grin on my face that had Sharon wondering just what I had done

Life is good

.

.

While out and around

.
I found this:

World's Smallest Political Quiz
The ORIGINAL Internet Political Quiz
Take the Quiz now and find out where you fit on the political map!

No, I don't want to know where it says you fit

I wonder if Wal-Mart has it on sale too?

...and the quote of the day:
....................... "I love shopping at Trader Joe's! Their frozen food is so fresh!"

I received an email with the subject line "Hello from Sunny Southern Spain"


My immediate thought was Shut Up!!!

Remember

Federal law requires that you must follow all instructions from uniformed crew.



If a naked flight attendant approaches you, you don't have to listen to them.

Looking is okay

Migrating

.
.
My niece, Woodrow, texted me this morning asking about St Patrick's day. Ironically she was only the first to ask today. My brother asked later when he called about Christmas plans.

We are gonna do it on March 14

I bring this up only because it was by pure luck that I saw her text message. Normally I don't even have my cell phone turned on when I'm home and half the time I don't know where I have set it down. I don't even remember why I went looking for it, but I'm sure it wasn't to start a frenzy of texting... mostly because I am challenged by fat fingers and small buttons on a phone that I never intended for more than brief conversations. Just the fact that I send texts at all is a step up. Even that is kind of weird because email is my #1 form of communication after direct conversation.
.
If I could email Christmas cards, they would have been sent by now instead of still being processed. Actually I have emailed the card to two folks. One, I lost the address. The other emails his cards.

* * *

Oh, in case you're wondering about the title of this post. I have started another relatively more serious... relatively being the operative word... blog so I can continue to do whatever here. That way what I post over at Rants & Musings will appear to be a little less disjointed. I am even tempted to leave the link to R&M off this blog site. Meanwhile part of this post is going on both blogs.

Texted is too a word

Define "clueless"

.
10AM Which Reminds Me--Send Out an Email Notifying Everyone That the Computers Are Down

Outdated salesmen: Why didn't you respond to my text?
Office lackey: I never received your text!
Outdated salesmen: From now on, when you don't get my text you have to call me and let me know.
Office lackey: (walks away mumbling)

Burnsville, Minnesota

Overheard by: Eric Bouchey

via Overheard in the Office, Dec 18, 2008

I was going to write something original...
then I thought "why start now?"

Wednesday Bonus

.
.
Last night I went to a 24-hour grocery.
When I got there, the guy was locking the front door.
I said, “Hey, the sign says you’re open 24 hours.”
He goes: “Not in a row."

If I could play a rimshot it would have gone here.

The True Story

.
.
The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Max, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 1946, the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees.
The four brothers walked into old man Henry Ford's office and sweet-talked his secretary into telling him that four gentlemen were there with the most exciting innovation in the auto industry since the electric starter.
Henry was curious and invited them into his office. They refused and instead asked that he come out to the parking lot to their car.
They persuaded him to get into the car, which was about 130 degrees, turned on the air conditioner, and cooled the car off immediately.
The old man got very excited and invited them back to the office, where he offered them $3 million for the patent.
The brothers refused, saying they would settle for $2 million, but they wanted the recognition by having a label, 'The Goldberg Air-Conditioner,' on the dashboard of each car in which it was installed.
Now old man Ford was more than just a little anti-Semitic, and there was no way he was going to put the Goldberg's name on two million Fords.
They haggled back and forth for about two hours, and finally agreed on $4 million and that just their first names would be shown.
And so to this day, all Ford air conditioners show Lo, Norm, Hi, and Max on the controls.

So, now you know ...

I was going to post something profound today...


but I forgot what it was

We scoop the Sporting News

.
.

In their latest bid to beef up their pitching rotation for the 2009 season, the New York Yankees today signed Iraqi journalist Muntadar al-Zeidi to a three-year deal worth $32 million.

The right-handed al-Zeidi, 28, impressed the Yankee scouts with his performance in Baghdad yesterday when he threw both of his shoes at President George W. Bush.
While neither of the shoes hit their target, both throws "had great velocity and good movement," said Yankee owner Hank Steinbrenner.

"The first shoe was high and outside but the second one was right down the middle," Mr. Steinbrenner said.

The Yankee boss said that he was also impressed with Mr. al-Zeidi's fighting spirit when Secret Service agents tackled him.
"That could come in handy when we have a series with Boston," he said.

So maybe the guy just wasn't a fan?

Bonus post

.
.
Check out Electric Drag Racing

I learned you have to be careful about
using the word "post" in a sentence

Public Service announcement

Away (part II) or I guess some explanation would be nice

.
It wasn't an emergency and it certainly wasn't really necessary. But it was convenient and maybe even overdue.

Sharon's son, Bryan, and his family, Richelle [wife], Zachary (age 11), Kaylynn (age 7) and Evan (age 5), along with Archie the cocker spaniel, Gilbert the cat and a couple of hibernating shelled gastropods live in Port Orchard, Washington. That would be across the Puget Sound from Tacoma on the Kitsap Peninsula just south of Bremerton. This weekend (Friday and Saturday specifically) both of the boys celebrated their birthdays. Sharon had been in touch with Richelle determining what they would like as gifts. We had shopped and found their gifts with no difficulty. There was even plenty of time to ship the gifts for timely arrival.

A little more than a week ago Sharon wrapped the gifts, a video game for Zack and a dinosaur for Evan, so they were all ready to send. I went to look for a box in which to ship them and determined that we did not have a single box that would fit our needs without a great deal of modification. However, rather than truck off to the local wrap and pack shop, I suggested that we hand deliver the presents since we hadn't seen any of this branch of the family since last January. Funny thing, I got no argument from Sharon. She emailed them to make sure it was okay. We checked our calendar to see exactly when we'd be able to be away and found that we had no other engagements after Tuesday.

Anyway the short answer is we went away to deliver gifts and the weather went from wet and windy to snowy and blowy. I promise that I will try to remember to put one of the two sets of tire chains that I have for the car in the trunk during the Winter months so I don't have to make emergency purchases on Sunday mornings in strange towns.

click on the dinosaur link

Another missed opportunity

.
When I finally get it, I will let you know.

Hint: think Walt Kelly

Christmas lights are up

The following is a verbatim quote from an email that was forwarded to me.

.
.
My wife has been on my case for the past couple of weeks to get the Christmas lights up. They're up now, and for some reason she won't talk to me!!!!

White Space

there ought to be a law about temptations like this

Weather

.
.
.
My friend Brian was saying on his blog that it is wet and windy this morning in Brighton. That's over the pond in England.
It's wet and windy on the Kitsap Peninsula too. In fact it appears from a survey of the National Weather Service site that wet and windy is the operative term for the entire Northwest and it may extend to the entire West before long.
We are going to leave for home this morning and pray that we remain ahead of the nasty stuff as we drive south.

We can always talk

about weather or food

What do we call this?

.
.
We made it to Port Orchard (across the Puget Sound from Seattle) without incident. Now all we have to do is pray the the anticipated storm follows the computer model and stays north. Otherwise we may find ourselves stuck such that we don't return home when anticipated.


On Leno (the Tonite Show) last night and this morning on Good Morning America a mention was made about three young women who bathed in the dish sink where they worked (KFC) and then posted photos to a social networking site. Read more here.

I think I may move...

or at least get a P.O.

Box somewhere else

On the road

.
.
.
We made it to Longview, Washington [probably about 40 miles N. of Portland]. This motel is kind enough to provide a computer in their business center. I figure I'll take advantage.

We're a long way from home

Away...

.
We are headed north for a couple of days. I may explain the trip at a later date.

GRANDSON'S Birthdays

...and then maybe not

More on Bacon

.
.
.
There's a play on words there.

It took more than two and a half hours...
a lot more!!!

Update

>
>
Well it wasn't my last appointment after all. It seems like I have a screw loose [didn't we all know that?]. Anyway, I go back in three months and if the Dr. thinks it is necessary, they will remove the screw.

I could have told him over the phone
... even without an x-ray

Why did I start this?

.
.
Oh, yeah!
It was to keep everyone updated regarding the surgery I had five months ago.
Haven't I done a rotten job of that?
Anyway, this morning I am taking yet another x-ray to the neurosurgeon for what I hope is the final follow-up visit. I would post the x-ray here, but I haven't figured out how to download [or is it upload] the image. Besides it looks kinda fake anyway.
I think the Dr. is happier that he convinced me to quit smoking than he is about the surgical procedure.
Me? I'm pretty happy about both.
I will update about the Dr. visit later.


Pretend that the x-ray is here

I guess I should get dressed now?

Sharon said, "Gesundheit!"

.
I wonder what she meant?

Ooooh! Now I get it!!!

Browsing again...hmmmm

White Space

White Space

I was just looking through a bunch of other blogs... none of which are listed on this one... and I came across one where the blogger was absolutely gushing about how thrilled she was to have received some recognition for her blog and that the number of hits had doubled.
Then on the very next post she was having second thoughts because she was afraid that her postings wouldn't meet the readers expectations. I'm sorry. I don't get it!!! That is unless the goal of the blog is to have a huge readership and maintain or increase the level of readership.
My goal for this blog is to entertain... ME!

so far, so good

I really was going to post yesterday...

...and then every time I thought I had something worthwhile, I decided it was lame. I hope that maybe it is a sign that I may finally be maturing and not that I am catching a cold.

Sometimes it just has to be filled with something!!!

Browsing...

It's what weekends weekdays mornings afternoons computers are for.

toothpastefordinner.com

While I am at it...

Another thing that bothers me are the folks who write interesting blogs, but leave you hanging for days... even weeks... on end. It's like waiting for someone like John Grisham or Edward Rutherford to write their next book.
Anyway, I just want them [they know who they are] to know that it's not fair to make the rest of us wait to hear what interesting things are going on in their lives.

Now buy a laptop and take it wherever you go.

Somebody should give them a geography lesson.

[Forget about the "Negative Free Zone" thingy down at the bottom of the page for a moment.]
I am just a little perturbed at a few web designers out there. They make some assumptions that can lead to a great deal of misunderstanding.
Then again maybe it is the newspapers that hired the web designers?
In any event I have noticed that most newspaper and even other media websites seem to be missing information that could certainly enlighten the reader should they just happen across that site by accident.
What brings this up is that I was browsing again and was directed by a link to the Greeneville Sun website. Nowhere on the page could I find any inkling of in what part of the world Greeneville is. I kind of figured that it's not in Turkey, Finland, Japan, Sudan, Nicaragua and any number of other countries. I mean for all I know it's Greenville, California... except I know that Greenville, CA doesn't have a newspaper [probably doesn't have Internet]. Wouldn't it be simple enough to include the state in which they are located somewhere on the website? Golly, even I made it a point to let you all know that I am somewhere between Oregon and Sacramento in the red part of a blue state.

BTW - Greeneville is in Tennessee. I found out because they had a link to the Chamber of Commerce on the website. Even then I had to search that link because it wasn't obvious.

BTW II - The local daily, the Record Searchlight, doesn't tell anyone that it's in Redding, CA on the website's pages, but at least it's mentioned in the tab that opens in the browser. [That may be one of the few things that the local does right.]

See, I knew I couldn't remain negative

Quote for the...

Southern lady on cell: I have to say I'm disappointed. I thought the Wal-Mart in New York would be amazing. Ya'll don't even have a Wal-Mart.

34th & 8th
overheardinnewyork.com

I think that's pretty amazing

I've been wondering about this for a week.

What do people in China call their good plates?

Family food gatherings will do that

What my browsing caught this time....

Salesperson calling tech support: "Let me hang up so I can call back and talk to someone dumber."

~Milwaukee, Wisconsin
overheardintheoffice.com

Huge exclamation point II

Wow!!!

Strother Martin
Eli Wallach
Gene Hackman
Claude Akins
Lee Van Cleef
Wilford Brimley

Google them, that may give you some idea