Just for fun

I figure if George the Sixth* and the Timid Venus* can do it:

a couple of other names that showed up: Dominic Monaghan, Anthony Quinn, Al Pacino(?), Neil Armstrong and Colin Firth.

...and I'm still thinking
about that parrot joke

*Anyone want to bet they want to know how I was able to fit the whole thing

I'm still thinking about that joke

.
.
Meanwhile...


Chances Are Good We'll Get to Denver or Somewhere Near It
Stressed flight attendant, after four-hour delay: Folks, we've just been cleared for immediate departure. (passengers cheer) All passengers must be seated, with your seat belts fastened for takeoff. To do so, insert the metal--well, if you can't figure it out for yourself, you're in trouble. If at any point an oxygen mask appears in front of you, you'll want to put that on. In the event of a water landing occurring between St. Louis and Denver, there will be a flotation device under your seat and about three feet of snow in hell. Emergency exits--front, over-wing and rear--wherever it says so. Don't even think about smoking. See the safety information card for the rest. Here we go.

Runway
St. Louis Airport, Missouri
via Overheard Everywhere, Dec 31, 2008

It's a parrot joke, okay?
A shaggy parrot joke.

Weather

.
I just received an email from Cecil, who is camped somewhere "in the hills East of San Diego." He reports that it was 73 ̊ yesterday.
I emailed him back and told him to "shut up!"

That reminds me of a joke

friends & relatives collider update

I just received an email from my sister-in-law letting us know that they were heading back to Maui on January 15. they plan to stay until March 10. She has invited us to come for a visit.
My thought is that if I get together with all of the others she invited, we may be able to charter a plane, thus saving on the airfare. I just hope there's enough room at their place for us.

Update

. .
It's cold and it may rain again today.
And thanks to Christine, I know what a canola is.

Now everyone will want to know who Christine is.

My friend Brian, who compared to me is a neighbor of Christine, posted about being tempted to write to his newspaper in response to a letter to the editor. I used to enjoy reading the letters to the editor in our paper. But that no longer is the case. It used to be that folks wrote about issues when they wrote to the editor. Today it seems that almost every letter is a personal attack against someone. Worse, it is usually attacking someone who wrote a letter to the editor. Even worse than that, it seems like there are only four or five folks who write letters to the editor.
So I shall not write letters to the local paper because I don't want to even be associated with any of those individuals.

There's no punchline because it's not a joke

It finally happened

It froze over

uh huh

.
.

marriedtothesea.com
.
.

Maybe they'll 'splain it on the Food Network?

Just passing this along

.
.
An old acquaintance from my college days sent the following:

A dog is truly a man's best friend.
If you don't believe it, just try this experiment.
Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for an hour.
When you open the trunk, who is really happy to see you????????

Small wonder he is single a living alone

in his usual perch

This was before dinner




Claims he was just resting his eyes

Sign in a mall

.

...and that's only the first option

New all time favorite movie line

.
“The shootings, the knifings, the beatings… old ladies being bashed in the head for their social security checks… Nah, that doesn’t bother me.
But you know what does bother me? You know what makes me really sick to my stomach? It’s watching you stuff your face with those hot dogs. Nobody… I mean nobody puts ketchup on a hot dog.”

~ Harry Callahan (Clint Eastwood) in ‘Sudden Impact’


You tell 'em Harry

One more

I made it back

.

In one piece.
It appears that some don't want to survive the holiday.

They're all a bunch of animals

I am going out now

.


It is the day before Christmas Eve and I am going to venture into stores to food shop for a party this evening and for the main course on Christmas.
Everything I have heard lately tells me that it is a real 'animal show' this year. So, I am not looking forward to this little adventure.
Who knows. I may be ready to share some of that Scotch with the Brighton Pensioner.

We all really know better than that

Tempting target

.

Yesterday the muse was in a strange mood so I posted a blank space . I did it partly because I can and partly to see what would happen. Interestingly enough the Brighton Pensioner posted a comment.
It has been just about all I can do to keep from going back and editing. If I was truly evil, I would.
Instead I wandered around the house with a conspiratorial grin on my face that had Sharon wondering just what I had done

Life is good

.

.

While out and around

.
I found this:

World's Smallest Political Quiz
The ORIGINAL Internet Political Quiz
Take the Quiz now and find out where you fit on the political map!

No, I don't want to know where it says you fit

I wonder if Wal-Mart has it on sale too?

...and the quote of the day:
....................... "I love shopping at Trader Joe's! Their frozen food is so fresh!"

I received an email with the subject line "Hello from Sunny Southern Spain"


My immediate thought was Shut Up!!!

Remember

Federal law requires that you must follow all instructions from uniformed crew.



If a naked flight attendant approaches you, you don't have to listen to them.

Looking is okay

Migrating

.
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My niece, Woodrow, texted me this morning asking about St Patrick's day. Ironically she was only the first to ask today. My brother asked later when he called about Christmas plans.

We are gonna do it on March 14

I bring this up only because it was by pure luck that I saw her text message. Normally I don't even have my cell phone turned on when I'm home and half the time I don't know where I have set it down. I don't even remember why I went looking for it, but I'm sure it wasn't to start a frenzy of texting... mostly because I am challenged by fat fingers and small buttons on a phone that I never intended for more than brief conversations. Just the fact that I send texts at all is a step up. Even that is kind of weird because email is my #1 form of communication after direct conversation.
.
If I could email Christmas cards, they would have been sent by now instead of still being processed. Actually I have emailed the card to two folks. One, I lost the address. The other emails his cards.

* * *

Oh, in case you're wondering about the title of this post. I have started another relatively more serious... relatively being the operative word... blog so I can continue to do whatever here. That way what I post over at Rants & Musings will appear to be a little less disjointed. I am even tempted to leave the link to R&M off this blog site. Meanwhile part of this post is going on both blogs.

Texted is too a word

Define "clueless"

.
10AM Which Reminds Me--Send Out an Email Notifying Everyone That the Computers Are Down

Outdated salesmen: Why didn't you respond to my text?
Office lackey: I never received your text!
Outdated salesmen: From now on, when you don't get my text you have to call me and let me know.
Office lackey: (walks away mumbling)

Burnsville, Minnesota

Overheard by: Eric Bouchey

via Overheard in the Office, Dec 18, 2008

I was going to write something original...
then I thought "why start now?"

Wednesday Bonus

.
.
Last night I went to a 24-hour grocery.
When I got there, the guy was locking the front door.
I said, “Hey, the sign says you’re open 24 hours.”
He goes: “Not in a row."

If I could play a rimshot it would have gone here.

The True Story

.
.
The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Max, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 1946, the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees.
The four brothers walked into old man Henry Ford's office and sweet-talked his secretary into telling him that four gentlemen were there with the most exciting innovation in the auto industry since the electric starter.
Henry was curious and invited them into his office. They refused and instead asked that he come out to the parking lot to their car.
They persuaded him to get into the car, which was about 130 degrees, turned on the air conditioner, and cooled the car off immediately.
The old man got very excited and invited them back to the office, where he offered them $3 million for the patent.
The brothers refused, saying they would settle for $2 million, but they wanted the recognition by having a label, 'The Goldberg Air-Conditioner,' on the dashboard of each car in which it was installed.
Now old man Ford was more than just a little anti-Semitic, and there was no way he was going to put the Goldberg's name on two million Fords.
They haggled back and forth for about two hours, and finally agreed on $4 million and that just their first names would be shown.
And so to this day, all Ford air conditioners show Lo, Norm, Hi, and Max on the controls.

So, now you know ...

I was going to post something profound today...


but I forgot what it was

We scoop the Sporting News

.
.

In their latest bid to beef up their pitching rotation for the 2009 season, the New York Yankees today signed Iraqi journalist Muntadar al-Zeidi to a three-year deal worth $32 million.

The right-handed al-Zeidi, 28, impressed the Yankee scouts with his performance in Baghdad yesterday when he threw both of his shoes at President George W. Bush.
While neither of the shoes hit their target, both throws "had great velocity and good movement," said Yankee owner Hank Steinbrenner.

"The first shoe was high and outside but the second one was right down the middle," Mr. Steinbrenner said.

The Yankee boss said that he was also impressed with Mr. al-Zeidi's fighting spirit when Secret Service agents tackled him.
"That could come in handy when we have a series with Boston," he said.

So maybe the guy just wasn't a fan?

Bonus post

.
.
Check out Electric Drag Racing

I learned you have to be careful about
using the word "post" in a sentence

Public Service announcement

Away (part II) or I guess some explanation would be nice

.
It wasn't an emergency and it certainly wasn't really necessary. But it was convenient and maybe even overdue.

Sharon's son, Bryan, and his family, Richelle [wife], Zachary (age 11), Kaylynn (age 7) and Evan (age 5), along with Archie the cocker spaniel, Gilbert the cat and a couple of hibernating shelled gastropods live in Port Orchard, Washington. That would be across the Puget Sound from Tacoma on the Kitsap Peninsula just south of Bremerton. This weekend (Friday and Saturday specifically) both of the boys celebrated their birthdays. Sharon had been in touch with Richelle determining what they would like as gifts. We had shopped and found their gifts with no difficulty. There was even plenty of time to ship the gifts for timely arrival.

A little more than a week ago Sharon wrapped the gifts, a video game for Zack and a dinosaur for Evan, so they were all ready to send. I went to look for a box in which to ship them and determined that we did not have a single box that would fit our needs without a great deal of modification. However, rather than truck off to the local wrap and pack shop, I suggested that we hand deliver the presents since we hadn't seen any of this branch of the family since last January. Funny thing, I got no argument from Sharon. She emailed them to make sure it was okay. We checked our calendar to see exactly when we'd be able to be away and found that we had no other engagements after Tuesday.

Anyway the short answer is we went away to deliver gifts and the weather went from wet and windy to snowy and blowy. I promise that I will try to remember to put one of the two sets of tire chains that I have for the car in the trunk during the Winter months so I don't have to make emergency purchases on Sunday mornings in strange towns.

click on the dinosaur link

Another missed opportunity

.
When I finally get it, I will let you know.

Hint: think Walt Kelly

Christmas lights are up

The following is a verbatim quote from an email that was forwarded to me.

.
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My wife has been on my case for the past couple of weeks to get the Christmas lights up. They're up now, and for some reason she won't talk to me!!!!

White Space

there ought to be a law about temptations like this

Weather

.
.
.
My friend Brian was saying on his blog that it is wet and windy this morning in Brighton. That's over the pond in England.
It's wet and windy on the Kitsap Peninsula too. In fact it appears from a survey of the National Weather Service site that wet and windy is the operative term for the entire Northwest and it may extend to the entire West before long.
We are going to leave for home this morning and pray that we remain ahead of the nasty stuff as we drive south.

We can always talk

about weather or food

What do we call this?

.
.
We made it to Port Orchard (across the Puget Sound from Seattle) without incident. Now all we have to do is pray the the anticipated storm follows the computer model and stays north. Otherwise we may find ourselves stuck such that we don't return home when anticipated.


On Leno (the Tonite Show) last night and this morning on Good Morning America a mention was made about three young women who bathed in the dish sink where they worked (KFC) and then posted photos to a social networking site. Read more here.

I think I may move...

or at least get a P.O.

Box somewhere else

On the road

.
.
.
We made it to Longview, Washington [probably about 40 miles N. of Portland]. This motel is kind enough to provide a computer in their business center. I figure I'll take advantage.

We're a long way from home

Away...

.
We are headed north for a couple of days. I may explain the trip at a later date.

GRANDSON'S Birthdays

...and then maybe not

More on Bacon

.
.
.
There's a play on words there.

It took more than two and a half hours...
a lot more!!!

Update

>
>
Well it wasn't my last appointment after all. It seems like I have a screw loose [didn't we all know that?]. Anyway, I go back in three months and if the Dr. thinks it is necessary, they will remove the screw.

I could have told him over the phone
... even without an x-ray

Why did I start this?

.
.
Oh, yeah!
It was to keep everyone updated regarding the surgery I had five months ago.
Haven't I done a rotten job of that?
Anyway, this morning I am taking yet another x-ray to the neurosurgeon for what I hope is the final follow-up visit. I would post the x-ray here, but I haven't figured out how to download [or is it upload] the image. Besides it looks kinda fake anyway.
I think the Dr. is happier that he convinced me to quit smoking than he is about the surgical procedure.
Me? I'm pretty happy about both.
I will update about the Dr. visit later.


Pretend that the x-ray is here

I guess I should get dressed now?

Sharon said, "Gesundheit!"

.
I wonder what she meant?

Ooooh! Now I get it!!!

Browsing again...hmmmm

White Space

White Space

I was just looking through a bunch of other blogs... none of which are listed on this one... and I came across one where the blogger was absolutely gushing about how thrilled she was to have received some recognition for her blog and that the number of hits had doubled.
Then on the very next post she was having second thoughts because she was afraid that her postings wouldn't meet the readers expectations. I'm sorry. I don't get it!!! That is unless the goal of the blog is to have a huge readership and maintain or increase the level of readership.
My goal for this blog is to entertain... ME!

so far, so good

I really was going to post yesterday...

...and then every time I thought I had something worthwhile, I decided it was lame. I hope that maybe it is a sign that I may finally be maturing and not that I am catching a cold.

Sometimes it just has to be filled with something!!!

Browsing...

It's what weekends weekdays mornings afternoons computers are for.

toothpastefordinner.com

While I am at it...

Another thing that bothers me are the folks who write interesting blogs, but leave you hanging for days... even weeks... on end. It's like waiting for someone like John Grisham or Edward Rutherford to write their next book.
Anyway, I just want them [they know who they are] to know that it's not fair to make the rest of us wait to hear what interesting things are going on in their lives.

Now buy a laptop and take it wherever you go.

Somebody should give them a geography lesson.

[Forget about the "Negative Free Zone" thingy down at the bottom of the page for a moment.]
I am just a little perturbed at a few web designers out there. They make some assumptions that can lead to a great deal of misunderstanding.
Then again maybe it is the newspapers that hired the web designers?
In any event I have noticed that most newspaper and even other media websites seem to be missing information that could certainly enlighten the reader should they just happen across that site by accident.
What brings this up is that I was browsing again and was directed by a link to the Greeneville Sun website. Nowhere on the page could I find any inkling of in what part of the world Greeneville is. I kind of figured that it's not in Turkey, Finland, Japan, Sudan, Nicaragua and any number of other countries. I mean for all I know it's Greenville, California... except I know that Greenville, CA doesn't have a newspaper [probably doesn't have Internet]. Wouldn't it be simple enough to include the state in which they are located somewhere on the website? Golly, even I made it a point to let you all know that I am somewhere between Oregon and Sacramento in the red part of a blue state.

BTW - Greeneville is in Tennessee. I found out because they had a link to the Chamber of Commerce on the website. Even then I had to search that link because it wasn't obvious.

BTW II - The local daily, the Record Searchlight, doesn't tell anyone that it's in Redding, CA on the website's pages, but at least it's mentioned in the tab that opens in the browser. [That may be one of the few things that the local does right.]

See, I knew I couldn't remain negative

Quote for the...

Southern lady on cell: I have to say I'm disappointed. I thought the Wal-Mart in New York would be amazing. Ya'll don't even have a Wal-Mart.

34th & 8th
overheardinnewyork.com

I think that's pretty amazing

I've been wondering about this for a week.

What do people in China call their good plates?

Family food gatherings will do that

What my browsing caught this time....

Salesperson calling tech support: "Let me hang up so I can call back and talk to someone dumber."

~Milwaukee, Wisconsin
overheardintheoffice.com

Huge exclamation point II

Wow!!!

Strother Martin
Eli Wallach
Gene Hackman
Claude Akins
Lee Van Cleef
Wilford Brimley

Google them, that may give you some idea

There was a brief discussion of Walter Brennan the other day. Unfortunately, a large number of those present had no idea who he was. Even I didn't know that he'd won three Oscars.

"Dat Walter... he hot!!!"

I can't even remember why the subject came up.

My niece, "Pam," will understand this.

It seems like there's seldom enough time

Sharon and I just returned from the annual family Thanksgiving gathering. This year it was at Janet & George's... they would be my sister and brother-in-law... in Clovis, which is down in the southern part of Northern California right next to Fresno. My other sister, JoAnne, her husband, Greg, and Nate, their son were there. Also there were Sara , her husband Woody
and little Georgia. They are the Blogs Woodys. Anna, Ken and baby Eden were there too, as was Rebekah, my third niece. We spent so much time catching up and trading bacon recipes that we were unable to spend enough time to solve the world problems.

As I mentioned in a previous post, there was football on the radio for the drive down and the outcome was about as I foresaw. What I didn't foresee was that the other two games would be pretty much the same. It was actually more interesting to watch my nephew, Nate play Rockstar on his Wii. So that's what we did.

Plans are now underway for the next family gathering in March to celebrate St Patrick's day. My guess is that we'll do it on March 14 because St Pat's is on Tuesday.






Deep Fried Bacon ~ with sausage gravy for dipping

BTW - we did not have turducken for the Thanksgiving feast

There was bacon for those who wanted it

The content says it all

See y'all later.
Clovis calls.

Thanksgiving Holiday

Tomorrow Sharon and I will make our way south a few hundred miles to Clovis, where my sister and her family live.
One thing that makes the trip go by so well is that we're able to listen to one of the annual turkey day football games (Detroit vs. whoever is going to beat them this year even though they're playing at home). But I was thinking a little bit ago that it would be really neat if the 'Car Talk' guys from NPR were on tomorrow. Then I remembered that most public radio stations are low powered FM and I spend as much time trying to pick up a stronger signal as I do listening. It's too bad because their show and 'A Prairie Home Companion' are two of my favorites.
Sometimes, if we are running late, we will even hear part of the game from Dallas. I think I dislike the Dallas Cowboys even more than the L.A. Dodgers... if that's possible for a native San Franciscan.

Anyway, we're looking forward to visiting family and seeing just how big my nieces' (two nieces, two daughters) daughters are.

Side note: The forecast is for a high
of 62º, it is currently 73º

I keeping with a post earlier this week...

Y'all can prolly figger out whut to drink with this.

really cool recipe

followed by

Wait 'til John Madden hears about this

Golly, I'd never seen turducken written before. That's really an ugly word

Going home for the holiday

We really need new luggage

Sometimes we're a little preoccupied

DUCT TAPE USE #317

I have to tell you that I have never seen a better use for duct tape in my life. Makes you want to require everyone to carry a roll for emergencies.

Thank you Sharon!!!

Wasting time

So earlier today I posted a comment on another blog.
I visited, lord knows how many, other blogs and sites.
I finally decided that there really wasn't anything out there worth repeating here... at least not yet.

I did get a chuckle or two reading the archives
of Top Tens from the Letterman show

If that's not a waste of time,
I don't know what is.

Did you know?

Horatio and Willie Nelson are not directly related.

They may have bought their clothes from the same place

I like to start the week out with a chuckle

I thought Mother Goose and Grimm was funny. Then I read Dilbert.

Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!

and that's before I even turn
on the computer to surf the WEB

.

Take me out to the ball game...

Then we're going to Disneyland:
Mom to toddler in stroller: What was your favorite part of the circus?
Toddler in stroller: The elephants pooping!

The movie is Dumbo, not Dumpo!!!

The answer is....

Four American presidents are not buried in the United States:

Jimmy Carter
George Bush
Bill Clinton
George W. Bush

BTW Jimmy Carter is a Lions Club member

Hmmmmm.....

Question of the day...

How many American presidents are not buried in the United States?

The answer is astonishing

No it isn't!!!

Bonus Question:

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

???

Some Stories are Worth Repeating

This one's only gonna get a link to a link

Pay particularly close attention to the comments on both links

I can't believe how much chatter this story generated.

And today's Quote

"Facts are such a distraction from the essence of what's really happening."
-- anonymous

Well, he wasn't really anonymous.
It's just that nobody bothered to get his name.

I think it was Niles

I didn't know that.

On this day...

1307 William Tell shoots apple off his son's head
1928 Walt Disney's Mickey Mouse debuts in NY in "Steamboat Willie"

and a quote:
We are here on Earth to do good to others. What the others are here for, I don't know.

-- W. H. Auden (1907 - 1973)

W.H. Auden was about 600 years too late

Maybe I mentioned we were away all weekend

Sharon and I were in the Twin Cities (that would be Marysville and Yuba City) for a Lions District meeting over the weekend. Nothing earth shattering occurred.

Who are we going to blame this on?

More than 99.9% of all the animal species that have ever lived on earth were extinct before the coming of man.

Aliens get my vote

We will end this

With a couple of relatively tame selections from Overheard in New York

Guy: Touche.
Girl: Isn't that Japanese for "okay"?

and

Woman #1: She was as dumb as molasses.
Woman #2: Well, molasses don't have a brain.
Woman #1: Well, she was as dumb as that.

See ya'll Sunday when we get back

I had to share this

'Dear Lord:

Thank you for bringing me to Timmy ' s house, and not to Michael Vick ' s -- AMEN! '

Thanks to Jim Barringer
who got it from someone else

By the way

Remember how I was complaining about not receiving emails because they were being filtered?
Then I said I was going to have to do something about it?
Then I said, philosophically, that even taking no action was doing something?
Well, that's what I did.

Those of you who have my email address may continue to send me email. If you don't have it, send me an email and I will tell you what my email address is. If I don't respond it means that your email has probably been filtered.

Yeah, I know the full Moon is done,
but I'm really like this all of the time

It's a joke!!!

Huge exclamation point

Read about this here.
Click on the image to see a larger version

I don't think it's photoshopped either

The end is near.

It is no small wonder that Circuit City has filed for bankruptcy and is reorganizing.

!

Quote for the Day

[I'm not even sure it's really a quote.]

"Having a resentment is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die."

make that the millenium

As of this moment

There is a full moon... well at 10:17pm it will be full.

That explains a lot.
Now I understand why there were so many ringy people in Costco this afternoon. What was really strange is that the parking lot and the store were full. Yet there were very few people in the checkout lines. Back in the days when I was working in restaurants and in retail I didn't have to look to see if there was a full moon. I could tell just by who I saw and how they acted. Now there's not nearly as much contact with the public.

Brian - this one's for you:

Two English businessmen in London were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up.
One said to the other, "I bet any minute now some idiot tourist is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling."
No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious Irishman walked to the window, had a peek, and in a thick Irish accent asked,"What might ye' be sellin' here?"
One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling *ss-holes."
Without skipping a beat, the Irishman said, "You are doin' well then ... only TWO left!
Moral of the story: Englishmen ... God bless them ... should not mess with the Irish!!!

I have to thank my OLDER brother
for contributing the joke and
Brian for being such a good sport

Oh yeah and this...

My niece posted a blurb about some kind of mini riot at the Stonestown Shopping Center in S.F.
At least there was a total lack of preparation for the crowd that showed up so the crowd was uncontrolled and a lady had her nose broken.
Anyway, somebody else asked in the comments if my niece's husband was going to watch the UFC [Ultimate Fighting Championship]. The first thing that came to mind was that there's a free, live version at the shopping center.

No, they haven't found a cure

How to you spell f-r-u-s-t-r-a-t-i-o-n?

We all know we're supposed to replace the batteries in smoke alarms when the clocks are reset each year for daylight savings and standard time.
This year I determined to go one better. It has been well over ten years since I installed the first smoke alarm and probably at least seven years since the last one was installed. Anyhow, I went out to the local "big box" retailer and purchased four brand new alarms to replace the old ones. Other than dealing with the folks chowing down at the free samples tables at the end of each aisle, that was probably the easiest part of the whole task. But maybe reading the instructions... as far as they went... was easier.
Removing the old alarms wasn't too difficult. However the bases were another story. I will have to remember to make sure that the screw heads don't get the slots filled with paint in the future. Then, of course, none... not one single one... of the holes for mounting the bases for the new alarms matched the existing holes for the old alarms. At least not if I wanted to have the new ones remain upright. Thank goodness the old holes are at least covered by the new alarms.
Tomorrow I may mow the lawn cut the grass.

I don't always have a smart*ss remark

There's a comment here just waiting to be written

What's this?

I saw an ad today for a Digital Rice Cooker.

What exactly is digital rice?

I am still mulling over a comment
I received to a post yesterday

A BOY!!!

This Just In:

Timely?

Monday's entry

Right! I don't have to butcher the "English" language

I love it!!!

I have a theory.

First let me say that it is based on very limited information and virtually no research. I have reached an age where I am no longer required to back up statements with fact... I only have to use big words.

Come to think of it, I have a number of theories. Each of them is as outrageous as the next. I think I shall save them until the next polite gathering I attend just so I can liven things up a little.

I can see Sharon cringing as she reads this. [GRINS]

Hi Honey!!!

ELECTION RESULTS:
We've all probably seen the state by state breakout of how the nation voted last Tuesday. Here is a comparison when it's broken out by county.

FROM MY PEREGRINATIONS:
Yeah, I know it's bass-ackwards, but I don't care to add new stuff in front of the stuff that was here first. So I find myself using the edit feature so posts show up chronologically.

Of course the real reason for this post is that I found a sometimes humorous website. I won't give it a plug, but here's a link to a post on the archive.

they don' got am'blances
& I love them big words,
not to mention butchering the
English language on occasion

Blog as journal?

What a concept. We can choose to put as much or as little of ourselves as we want in this space. Some already are doing so. A window to (y)our lives is opened each time the activities of the day are shared. More amazing, we can voyeuristically [I made up that word according to the spellchecker] explore the daily lives of complete strangers. Some of us even care enough to try to properly punctuate and spell words correctly.

Before the Internet and blogging some folks... the ones who knew how to read and write... kept journals or diaries. These were meant primarily for their own use. Consequently they left out a lot of information that would give us some insight about their daily lives. On the other hand if they wrote everything down, they probably wouldn't have time for anything else and there'd be a whole sh*tload of journals full of menus, decorating tips, furniture inventories and hour by hour activity reports. But there are those who wrote just to remind themselves a high... or low... moment and that is all that's been left for us to know about them.
Okay, so what's my point? We really don't know how long the pearls of wisdom that we put in our blogs are going to last. A scary thought is that some stranger may come across them in a hundred years and say to himself, "Great oogly-moogly, is this clown weird!"
Come to think of it, someone could find it in a minute or so and think the same thing. Ultimately, we should decide:

• if this is for ourselves only -then it doesn't really matter what we write
• if it meant for others to gain some insight - then we might consider being a little better organized

If you've been following this blog for awhile
you know which choice I made

I have a friend who has two blogs. He wonders if he should be keeping a journal too. My only suggestion is that he find a method for saving what he's furnished already.

Hi Brian!!!

I love it when someone else does all of the work

INVISIBLE WRITING


How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?

more INVISIBLE WRITING

It's one of those click on the link things
(opens another whole website)

Everyone needs to rant

I think I may have figured out why I may be a little cynical about elections.
We have spent the last two years... yes folks it only seemed longer... listening to candidates [pick one] tell us what's wrong with the current situation and what they'll do to fix it.
So two days ago we elected one of them and nothing has changed.
I say we should impeach or recall the sucker and find somebody who will really do something... NOW!.

Oh, I also think one of the qualifications
for any political office should be that a
person should have held a real job at
some time in their life.

O.G.A. II

There is this.

You have been Spammed and
there's more where that came from

because I'm lazy

I won't post my thoughts about the recent election. This post almost mirrors my sentiments. I do think that as a nation we did ourselves proud. That was yesterday and it is over. We have to take care of today.

Martinis won't help and
the holograph was lame

What can I say?

Hmmm, how about , it's a metaphor for elections?
Yeah, I know it's a stretch [no pun intended].

Let's start this week with a quote:

“A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way”.
-- Mark Twain

Do not try this at home.

Bonus Quote:

Bummer

I was looking at the preview thingy from the satellite company last night and saw that there was going to be a showing of the Nova show about fractals. I dutifully switched channels from the Texas vs. Texas Tech shenanigans and found some kind of blues thing. Now, I like blues, but this was like somebody's home movie and the sound was terrible so I switched to the Food Network and watched reruns of kettle chip making. Saturday night television sure leaves a lot to be desired.

Wait, there's not much worth watching on TV any more.

I received a wmv. file this morning that's really funny... also just a little on the wrong side of 'family friendly.'
I'd post it here but it's 4mb so it would probably take forever to add to the site. I'm going to upload it to another site. If you should choose to watch it, please consider giving it a better title.
Click here to watch it.

Don't pay any attention to the changes
I keep making. because I'll probably
change it again... and again... then again.

~ Czech proverb

Quote of the day:
"The big thieves hang the little ones.”

I stole that from another Website.
They probably stole it from somebody else...

Finally

I've been waiting all day for some kind of inspiration and all I've had is brain f*rts.
But along about 5:00pm, while I was down at Red Bluff (home of the Bull & Gelding Sale, Red Bluff Roundup and the Monster Truck Nationals to give you an inkling the type of community) it began to rain...YES, RAIN!!! The really good news is that it is forecast to continue until Monday, which means that if there's enough rain Red Bluff may wash away.
Seriously, I'm only picking on Red Bluff because I can. there's really nothing wrong with the town other than it's 20 miles away and the freeway doesn't have enough lanes to handle the traffic.

Did anyone besides Sharon remember that tonight is Devils Night?

There are really only two reasons for posting pictures:

1. The writer is totally bereft of any original thought
2. It expresses a thought better than words
   

You can decide what my reason was

It's She's the Great Pumpkin

Actually that's Eden Hope

The original Title bothered me...

Today's throwaway remarks

Just about every day I boot up my computer and check emails on three different accounts. Then I visit a couple of websites that view regularly, including a couple listed here. Then, after determining that all is well in the world, something snaps. I can't just remain an observer. I have to become a participant. That's not so bad when it can be accomplished by responding to a post somewhere else on the Web. It can be downright dangerous when I initiate something.
It seems that I am entirely unable to leave things well enough alone. In other words I'm a sh*t disturber, one of those folks that says to himself, "I wonder what would happen if I [insert applicable words here] ." Fortunately I've been able to direct these urges in such a manner that they remain almost harmless. In fact most often they involve only little tweaks or additions to this blog. Only those who know me well are aware just how demented I really am.

Hmmmm! Maybe that's why I keep going back to Dave Barry's blog?

Okay that's enough laughter for now.

I'm sure y'all remember what started this whole blog?
It was all about a surgical procedure, specifically a spinal fusion, to guarantee that my head will remain attached... or something like that anyway.
So here I am four months later receiving bills because Drs. and insurance companies don't understand each other and it's up to me or some other poor soul to translate.

Well I have the perfect solution:

Learn Another Language!!!

let's start off with a laugh - "Twins"

A census taker in a rural area went up to a farmhouse and knocked. When a woman came to the door, he asked her how many children she had and their ages.

She said, "Les' see now, there's the twins, Sally and Billy, they're eighteen. And the twins, Seth & Beth, they're sixteen. And the twins, Penny and Jenny, they're fourteen---- "

"Hold on!" said the census taker, "Did you get twins every time?"

The woman answered, "Heck no, there were hundreds of times we didn't get nothin'."

A little revenge?

The next time I receive one of those surveys in the mail I am tempted to reply with this.

Then again I may just ignore it like all of the others.

Waxing philosophical

I guess it's time that I quit bellyaching and do something about my email account.
It's really a simple task to gripe about something that's bothering you me. I don't have to do anything else. No physical action is required, yet everyone becomes aware of the situation. The only problem is that it's up to me and me alone to fix it. I have two choices. I can make some calls or send some emails that will require some other steps. Or, I can shut up and do nothing. In either case you won't hear me whining about it any more.
The bottom line is that I am in control of the issue as long as I realize that I have the choices. As long as I keep a positive attitude, I have even more control.

As long as I don't take myself too seriously, I will have friends.

Another mystery of life cleared up

And this is why we pass gas.

Gleaned from a major scientific source... Dave Barry

Yep I really have to do something II

Now, not only is my ISP filtering spam and relegating it to a special folder, they are filtering emails from Sharon... and lord knows who else.

Winston Churchill said -

"We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give."

almost as bad as filler II

A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
'Not a chance,' says the husband, 'it is 3:00 in the morning!' He slams the door and returns to bed.
'Who was that?' asked his wife.
'Just some drunk guy asking for a push,' he answers.
'Did you help him?' she asks.
'No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!'
'Well, you have a short memory,' says his wife. 'Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!'
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark, 'Hello, are you still there?'
'Yes,' comes back the answer.
'Do you still need a push?' calls out the husband.
'Yes, please!' comes the reply from the dark.
'Where are you?' asks the husband.
'Over here on the swing,' replied the drunk.

Too cool for words

It's the batteries!!!

Weekend recap:
Saturday was pretty much devoted to Lions Club. We (the club, that is) hosted a district leadership workshop from 9:30 - 3:00. That, of course, involved a good deal of preparation beforehand... Thank you Sharon!!! ...and some cleanup afterward... there were a number of volunteers for that. There were over 50 in attendance so there wasn't much chili left over from lunch.

Saturday evening was spent searching for something worthwhile on TV. I finally settled on some Food Network reruns and recaps of college football games.

Sunday was mostly a vegetation day. I did manage to do some updating of a website, but mostly just surfed because that's easier.

Speaking of www

There's this web site that I maintain for the Anderson Lions Club. I'm having a minor problem in that whenever I view it in the Firefox browser, it shows the last update taking placed during the second century. This does not happen with Internet Explorer.
Anyway it's really weird looking at the bottom of a web page and seeing that it was "last updated on: Sunday, October 19, 108."

Wuh, wuh, wuh!!!

If we didn't surf, we wouldn't learn anything

It dawned on me that I made a reference to some cookies a couple of weeks ago that may have seemed a little strange if previous comments weren't read.
The cookies in question are ginger spice cookies.
Just thinking about them makes my mouth water. So if anyone wants to bake some and send them, I will be more than happy to evaluate.

Well I just wasted ten minutes

That's it. I just wasted ten minutes

If spam isn't bad enough...

We've been having problems with our Internet connection since yesterday just before noon. It became intermittent at best.
Another strange Internet thing happened. The first post I made yesterday didn't show up until well after the second... I mean like forever. I realize that it takes awhile for video to upload, but hours is ridiculous.
And now my cpu or the keyboard is acting strange. I find that about every fifth key I type does not reach the screen unless I go back and type it again (sometimes twice). I am hoping that by replacing the batteries in the keyboard (it's wireless) the problem will resolve itself. Should it turn out that it isn't the keyboard or the cpu, I may have to re-evaluate the success of my recent surgery?

Frankly, I hope it's the batteries

And another thing....
I typed a comment on another blog, entered it and it went away?

The Three Little Pigs

Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night. The waiter came and took their drink order.
I would like a Sprite,” said the first little piggy.
“I would like a Coke,” said the second little piggy.
“I want beer, lots and lots of beer,” said the third little piggy.
The drinks were brought out and the waiter took their orders for dinner.
“I want a nice big steak,” said the first piggy.
“I would like the salad plate,” said the second piggy.
“I want beer, lots and lots of beer,” said the third little piggy.
The meals were brought out and a while later the waiter approached the table and asked if the piggies would like any dessert.
“I want a banana split,” said the first piggy.
“I want a cheesecake,” said the second piggy.
“I want beer, lots and lots of beer,” exclaimed the third little piggy.
“Pardon me for asking,” said the waiter to the third little piggy,”
But why have you only ordered beer all evening?”
You’re gonna LOVE this….
The third piggy says -
“Well, somebody has to go ‘Wee, wee, wee, all the way home!

Then there's this II

A former shipmate sent this to me. Maybe I will send him my new email address...

...when I get one!

Finally

Something we can all use:

New Stock Market Terms

CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.

BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing
an investor to mistake himself for a financial
genius.

BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the
kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry,
and the husband gets no sex.

VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and
selling lower.

P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting
their pants as the market keeps crashing.

BROKER -- What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your
stock.

STOCK SPL IT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer
split your assets equally between themselves.

FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been
disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it
disappears down the toilet.

YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some
poor sucker for $240 per share.

WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the
sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor
who's now locked up in a nuthouse.

PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.

A laugh

Now it's entirely out of hand

I received another one of those insidious emails. This one notified me about the In-N-Out Burger 60th anniversary special.
I won't go into the details other than to say this and this is what I found out.

When Al Gore invented the Internet, He unleashed one big rumor mill.

I have been warned...

...for about the bazillionth time about the

"HUGE VIRUS COMING !!!
PLEASE READ & FORWARD !!!"

I'm sorely tempted to turn off the computer to make sure that I don't become infected. Also, since I'm somewhat of a contrarian I'm not going to forward it to anyone else since I know this message, or a variation, has been around for years.

Yep I really have to do something

Just a minute ago I received this

Remind me not to send the person who sent it to me my new email address... whenever I get one that is. Meanwhile go ahead and try it out.

Another bright idea

After discovering this morning that I am not receiving all of the emails sent to me, I came up with a brilliant scheme. I will just make sure that everyone in my address book know about this blog and if they have a message for me, they can post it as a comment. That should accomplish two things:

1. It will cut down the amount of correspondence I receive
2. I forget what the other is
   

Whoa!!! Iknow this guy

Check this out. Some of you may know this guy. He was one of my college roommates.

Don't get excited now...

I was thinking about adding a hit counter to this blog. Then I decided I really don't want to know that only some of my family and a friend in England are the only ones who read it.
There's another friend in Maryland who says he checks occasionally, but that he's really too busy. I should remind him that it's my turn to buy dinner so he should check in more often.

I made a batch of chili yesterday. First taste was pretty good. It's not as 'hot' as some batches have been but you'd still know it's chili. The next test is tonight, but the true test will be next week when it is served to an unsuspecting audience. That's also why it isn't as 'hot' as many previous batches.

Ouote for the day

Production of useful work is limited by the laws of thermodynamics, but the production of useless work seems to be unlimited.
—Donald Simanek

And a cartoon as well:

"It may be perpetual motion, but it will take forever to test it."
Cartoon by Donald Simanek.