Things remembered

The other day the topic of beer was raised on another blog.
It seems like that topic comes up over there on a routine basis.
But that may just be my imagination.

For want of a better topic for a blog post which is being written well ahead of schedule I thought I'd mention a few beers I've tasted.
I won't bother to judge any of them.

So, in no particular order, here is an incomplete list.

• Country Club stout
• San Miguel
• Miller High Life
• Tsingtao
• Asahi
• Kirin
• Kirin dark
• Sapporo
• Pyramid Pale ale
• Pyarmid Hefeweizen
• Rainier
• Rainier Ale (aka green death)
• Blitz
• Blitz Bavarian dark
• Henry Weinhards
• Blats
• Shaefer
• Fisher
• Brown Derby
• Lucky Lager
• Regal Pale
• Sierra Nevada (too many to count)
• Thomas Kemper (before they went soft)
• Olympia
• Coors 
• Budweiser (again too many to count)
• George Killians
• Lone Star
• Four X
• Blue Heron pale ale
• Redtail ale
• Sam Adams (another too many to count)
• Guiness (American version)*
• Harp
• Newcastle Brown ale
• Whitbread
• Busch Bavarian
• Schlitz
• Lowenbrau
• Molson
• Moosehead
• Watneys
• Michelob
• Primo
• Fat tire
• Long Board

Good grief, I've forgotten so many.
To think I didn't even like beer at first.
It's been more than 14 years since the last one.
*when I was in Ireland a cab driver asked if I'd tried Guiness.
I told him I didn't drink.
He asked me why I'd come to Ireland.

While I wasn't looking watching

So, there I was*. . . 
Visiting lurking on f/b, when I saw a post by a friend, announcing that some team apparel ordered for a family member had arrived just after said team had been eliminated from the playoffs.
I wouldn't mention this, but I almost immediately had a snarky comment pop into that space between my ears. . .   the one (space) without a filter.

Somehow I avoided stirring the pot at that moment.
But the little voice on my shoulder isn't allowing me to leave it alone.
Probably because of geographics.
It has to do with the north-south thing in California.

Anyhow, what popped into my skull, momentarily, was kind of a backhanded compliment:

"At least the Ducks lasted longer in the playoffs than the Kings."

Sadly, until I saw the f/b post, I hadn't even been paying attention to much of the NHL playoffs because (I can't say why without seeming to rub it in). . .

They say, when you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

the shovel is on the ground

 *SJC

And so it begins

Tomorrow is the opening day of the Lions District Convention.
This year it is all the way up the highway in Redding, 12.2 miles away.
I appears I shall be fully occupied most of the weekend.
So if you don't find anything here, you'll know why.

It's what you get when the wind blows the Muse away

I may figure out eventually why Blogger messes with the font on this blog.
I have a specific font designated. . .    Unkempt.
I like it because it suits my attitude.

However, periodically Blogger chooses to replace it with a font that is similar to, but not, Comic Sans.
So, Blogger,  

GOML!!!

 this was almost yesterday's post

If it wasn't for former roommates I would have a hard time figuring out what to post

A man returns home a day early from a business trip. It's after midnight. While en-route home, he asks the cabby if he would be a witness.

The man suspects his wife is having an affair, and he wants to catch her in the act.For $100, the cabby agrees.  Quietly arriving home, the husband and cabby tip toe into the bedroom. The husband switches on the lights, yanks the blanket back and there is his wife in bed with another man! 

The husband puts a gun to the naked man's head. 
 
The wife shouts, 'Don't do it! I lied when I told you I inherited the money.'
     HE paid for the Porsche I gave you.
     HE paid for your new 20 ft Ranger Fishing Boat .
     HE paid for your Packer season tickets.
     HE paid for our house at the lake.
     HE paid for your Golf Trip to St Andrews and your new 4 x 4.
     HE paid for our country club membership, and he even pays the monthly dues!
 
Shaking his head from side-to-side, the husband lowers the gun.  He looks over at the cabby and says,  'What would you do'?
 
The cabby replies, 'I'd cover him with that blanket before he catches a cold.'

thanks, Del

I made it myself

'nuff said

Credit

The photographer gets credit for the picture.
God gets credit for the creation.

credit - Mike Ferrier

Friday evening on Bowman Road, Cottonwood.

happy Sunday

I can't seem to kick this thing

I mean I'm still on the verge of politics.

Saw a post yesterday.
I am gonna take a quote out of context.
If you don't like it, shoot me you don't have to read it.

"What is the difference between a Republican and a Democrat? What's the difference between a white rat and a brown rat? I don't know that it can be changed with a third party because of the money and power in play."
                                                        ~Virtual Mirage

It is no small wonder that more and more folks are registering Independent.
Alas, those folks have no say in the choice until it comes down to the point where only the rats are left.

This kinda suits my mood about the whole thing...

screen capture

I'm pretty sure it was posted about the time the campaigning started.
Everyone so stirred up that I wonder what it really going on.

yeah, pretty well jaded

Normal Friday How rude!

Nothing* is worse than being awakened at zero dark thirty.
The rain had been predicted.
heavy rain had been predicted.
They didn't tell us that we'd have a half inch in 15 minutes.

Disturbed my sleep, it did.

hate it when that happens

*I will accept almost anything else.
Therefore nothing is worse than anything.

Slow start

I woke up too early.
So I laid in the bed and actually fell back to sleep.
Some time between 6:30 and 6:45 I woke again and kicked off the cover.
(I always [almost] kick off the cover to the foot of the bed. It it easier than getting out of bed and carefully turning down the cover.)
Then I went to see if Sebastian was prepared to come in.
Some mornings he is waiting for me by the front door.
Other mornings he waits by the French door to the patio.
This morning he was at neither.
I opened the French door so air could circulate through the screen.
Within about 30 he was whining asking to be let in.
(It's hard to determine which of us is more the creature of habit)

I checked my cell phone for messages.
I appeared I would be the first with the "Good morning" to all of my fans I greet each day.
The entire time Sebastian is head bumping my phone because he wants my full attention.
It's a little game we play each morning.

I put the coffee pot on.
(it would be simpler if I did it before the cat comes in, but I like tripping over him as I try to maneuver around the kitchen.)
Then, invariably, I have to shoo him off the counter with the threat of a squirt from the spray bottle.
In the entire time the spray bottle has been around he has yet to actually have been sprayed.
Somehow, he knows exactly what it means.

While the coffee brews, his food dish is filled and put in the usual place.
Then he decides whether or not he's hungry.

That's when things slowed down.
I picked up the tablet, turned it on, and scanned f/b the usual apps.
Most mornings I read the Espresso from the Economist to find out what's going on in Burundi the World.

Sometimes I will even sit and read other blogs before heading for the den to check my overnight email and start my blog post.
That's kinda what happened today.

I'm in no rush.
I had planned to go into Redding today to run some errands.
Unfortunately, when I made those plans, I had almost totally forgotten that this week is Kool April Nites in the metropolis to the north.
That means that the traffic on the streets will be far from what is usual.
Anyone familiar with Redding know the difficulties of getting from one part of town to another  . . .or even how hard it is to find a freeway onramp after getting off the freeway.
Add in hundreds of other drivers unfamiliar with the traffic issues and there are grave circumstances and lots and lots of cars driving around and around, some intentionally.
It's like Friday night downtown in the '60s.

Yeah, seeing the old cars and the customized cars is cool.

Source

I guess it's nice to see they even still run.
My first car looked almost exactly like the one in the pic.
I bought it for $400 in 1964.
It is pretty good for the local economy, too.
But does it have to last for a full week?

Yeah, I will still go.
I can't put the errands off any longer  . . .and I sure don't want to do them tomorrow.

wish me luck

This morning

I woke up to this!!!

photo doesn't do it justice

Irony?

So. . .
I have observed any number of f/b users posting about issues that bother them, mostly, it seems, the federal government meddling in state business.

Then, those same f/b users will post something like this:

I won't comment on the issue in the image.
However, if it isn't my state, I don't want the feds telling my state one way or another how to handle driver's  licenses, except where it may have something to do with interstate commerce.

The issue I have is there is entirely too much gov't meddling because someone got a wild hair about what someone else is doing somewhere else.

If you don't like something in another state, don't go there.

Oh, and for chrissakes don;t tell me you are going to vote against all the incumbents.
Geez!
That's about the stupidest thing I've read.
You can vote against your incumbents.
But that's it,

unless you live in Chicago or South Texas

Anniversary Bonus

Yeah, that's right. . .   a second post.
It is an anniversary. . .   NO!
Two anniversaries!!!

The famous ride of Paul Revere warning his fellow Patriots the "British are coming!"
And.
More recently, the famous earthquake and fire at San Francisco in 1906. 

I am a little more familiar with the 1906 incident because I had grandparents who lived it.

this post is more fun than the other

I can so identify with this quote

"I guess you'd call me an independent, since I've never identified myself with one party or another in politics. I always decide my vote by taking as careful a look as I can at the actual candidates and issues themselves, no matter what the party label."

~ Jackie Robinson

If resentments weren't unhealthy, I would resent being labeled as a member of any political party.
I have been evolving continually since I became socially and politically aware.
There is hardly anywhere we can go on the Internet without finding something to do with the current selection process.
Worse, it's been going on far too long.
Worse yet, the rhetoric is, seemingly, stirring up a frenzy in some venues.

Yes, indeed, I'm with JR.
He stuck with the issues and tuck to his guns even when it wasn't necessarily popular.

Today, it's disloyal to stray from the views of the party.
When I was a kid, if someone said, "the party," we knew they were talking about the Communists.
Today everything has to be hard line.
That isn't how I roll. . .

. . .and you know what?

"I hope you don't like it!!!"*

If I weren't so lazy, I would articulate even further on my views of the current political climate.
I will leave that to better writers, like Suldog.

it isn't just black or white

*that's a direct quote from a college classmate

What're you selling?

Why nothing.
Actually it was a fun day.
Specifically Family Fun Fest Kids Fishing Day, sponsored by Anderson Partnership for Healthy Children, City of Anderson Parks & Recreation, co-sponsored by California Department of Fish & Wildlife.
Different non-profit organizations working with youth in the community were asked to have a performance of activity booth. 
The Anderson Lions Club had a bean bag toss.
The object of our activity was for each child to toss three bean bags at a target.
It made no difference whether or not they hit the target.
When they returned the bean bags they were given an ice cream cup and shown where to throw their trash when they finished it.

organizing

the fun starts

the fishing venue

a disc golf demo

beran bag on the way to the target

finding the bean bags after

lots of activities

chocolate or vanilla

It was free.
The only drawback to the entire scene is out booth was immediately adjacent to and downwind of the Kiwanis Club's food wagon, where they were making popcorn and cooking hot dogs.
We ran out of ice cream about a half hour before the event was over.

The weather was ideal.

This isn't what you were waiting for

Even the cat's avoiding me this morning

I have been caught totally unprepared.
Today is filled and I have noting to post   . . .yet!

Deconstructing dinner

Typically on a Thursday evening I attend a group that meets in a local church.
The timing is such that fixing dinner means either a lot earlier than I would care to eat or much later then the usual dinner time.
It just so happens there is a place within walking distance where I can either dine in or take out.
I have been doing this almost every Thursday evening for the past eight years.

At one time the typical Thursday meal was a burrito big enough to feed a platoon,
But that was when there was more than one person to share.
Now, I am reduced to ordering a taco. . .  yes, one!

The question of what the taco looked like came up.
I thought it was a grand idea for a blog post.
(we'll see)

So, what does a take out taco from this place look like?

Oh, wait, , ,   take it from the bag

Not much help, huh?
Here's the last step before wrapping. . .

hot sauce

a few moments earlier. . .

Jalapeño

Yeah, an extra helping.

a couple of moments even earlier. . .

carne asada & cheese

Original plan was to totally deconstruct the taco.
But pictures just don't help all that much.
Suffice to say the additional ingredients are cabbage, pico de gallo, sour cream, cilantro, avocado, and fresh squeezed lime juice.

Before I ordered I observed the construction of a quesadilla

You probably want to see what the finished taco looked like. . .

. . .and that's why I only order one.

if your nose isn't dripping
 afterward it wasn't hot enough

Gimme a break

You might think, with all of the hype about the above, the season was done with.
Actually the real fun begins at 12:30 (PDT) on Saturday.
It will continue until sometime in June.
Then there will be some more basketball in Brazil this summer.
After that the next season will start.

Yes... I am really pleased that the Warriors actually improved over last year.
. . .and isn't Steph Curry some kind of special?

This cake eater is pretty special, too.

Yep, Li'l Teeny turned three.

time flies

We get emails

I have decided to help out a friend of mine.
We went to college many, many years ago,

Just the other day he sent me an email touting some shoes.

This was the pic he sent along with it.

I'm helping him by adjusting the photo to concentrate on the subject matter.
I am certain he and others will appreciate it.

Spectator shoes?

who'd've thunk

A modest proposal

So. . .   that title is plagiarized from a work by the same name from a certain Jonathan Swift.
In short, perhaps we the people could substitute politicians for his subjects.

This post has been rattling around in my skull for some time, which probably explains why it appears so confused and disorganized.
Thanks to Sully and Sarge I can finally spit it out.

Actually, my proposal isn't nearly so extreme.
But it is likely just as unworkable.
The more I see of the Presidential campaign of 2016 [seems like it started in 2014, huh?], the more I want the politicians [and Donald Trump] to go away.
I have hear proposals that there should be term limits for offices.
Well, the fact is we already have term limits for the Presidency.
In California, there are tem limits for the State Senate and the Assembly. . .   How's that working out?
They're a joke.

No, what has to be done is create a situation where there's no incentive for a career in politics.
The first criteria for public office at any level, with no exception, should be the individual must be gainfully employed or have been gainfully employed before retirement.
The political office they seek should not provide their sole source of support, nor should they, for the rest of their lives reap financial benefit from that office.
We have career politicians today, who have never done anything else in their lives, because the public trough is way too generous.

Perhaps, too, there should be time limits.
I think 20 years should be sufficient.
Folks who've worked for the government can have 25 years, but we subtract one year for each year they worked for the government [except political appointees. . .   they had to have had a real job].
That might keep some of those folks from trying to create a legacy under which the rest of us are left to suffer.

Oh, and there should be a requirement that they can only tell on themselves.
None of the mudslinging that goes on today.
They can only point out a problem if they have a seemingly workable solution.

that eliminates me

You can't make this stuff up

Click it

ya gotta laugh

Okay, here's the deal.
I know three individuals who are dealing with some particularly unsettling challenges* right now.
(actually I know more than that, but I am better acquainted with these particular situations)
I won't go into specific details because they aren't at all relevant to this conversation [and all three read this blog].

The point here is that I know these folks.
I can completely empathize with them.
I can even offer to listen and, if asked, offer information.
But the best part is it reminds me that I'm not the center of the Universe.
Also reminds me I am not the only one who has challenges*.

I am even reminded that most of the things that happen don't necessarily happen to me.
They may happen when I am there.
But that only means I am present.
How the incident affects me is entirely predicated upon my attitude and how I allow it to affect me.
I try to choose to be grateful, if even only in a small way, for being allowed to participate.
That way it doesn't happen to me.
It just happens.

tomorrow is another day

*in this case challenges replaces problems because the folks involved are meeting them head-on to resolve the issues

I'm not so sure I like where this is going

I got kinda political yesterday.
Or was is civic minded?
In any event electioneering has really gotten under my skin this year because it gone on for so long.

I'm pretty certain the frustration I feel is because there is no sign that, no matter who is elected to what office, anything will change, except maybe for the worse.
That is not a good feeling.
I don't have much faith in any of those who seek to lead our country.
Maybe it's just personality clash?

The one topic throughout all of the electioneering, at all levels, is experience.
The claims being that whatever candidate is speaking has more experience than the opponent.
I find that only a little ironic when it comes to some of the candidates for executive office.
Three are experienced legislators.
But the track record for legislators isn't one I hang my hat on.
They've done a pretty good job of not doing much over the past dozen years or so.
What has been done hasn't seemed to be very helpful.

Then there's a couple with some executive experience.
One's a politician.
His number one priority is to keep getting elected.
(that's true of the legislators, too)
Finally there's the guy who isn't a career politician.
His executive experience is as a kind of a dictator.
He is a publicity hound.
And he has lots of money.
I don't see where his experience carries over to running a government.

On the more local scene there's talk of experience as well.
The current congressman says he should be returned to office because he is experienced in how the system works.
My own observation is the system isn't working because of all those folks who are experienced in how it works.
The sad thing is even if we replace our guy, other probably will reelect there's and nothing will change.

Even more locally it is more like a beauty pageant or popularity contest.
Sure, some of the folks have great ideas, but the little bit of money left over after mandated programs and paying into the pension funds isn't enough to accomplish anything.

Do I have a solution?
No, at least not short of replacing all of the above listed individuals and their cohorts with folks who don't care to line their pockets on the backs of their fellow citizens.
I don't see a single individual in public office who is there altruistically.
That is truly a shame.

I bet you're sorry you didn't read THIS instead

sometimes the Muse is a real @$$#o|e

Who woke the Muse?

Okay... It's time to get to work here.
We've been slacking long enough.

First. . .   let's set the tone.

from the usual source*

So there was a very brief dialogue at another's blog the other day.
I actually may have let slip where I stand politically. . .   or in which direction I lean.
That really isn't relevant here, honest.

Yesterday morning I was scanning through f/b at my usual rate of speed.
(that's where I misread post titles and find myself giggling quietly because what I thought I saw was definitely not family friendly
some day I may actually create a collection so others can judge)
Anyhow, there was a typical election year post that only would make sense to the person who posted it.
Below was a comment that said, 

 "there are over 280 incumbent Congressman up for election and I am voting them all out"

Obviously this person is either totally ignorant of how the system works or is brilliant beyond what anyone but a professional election fraudster is.

On another note. . .   someone else posted they weren't voting for either of California's imcumbent Senators this time.

I have news for him.

Nobody is voting for either of them.
Feinstein's not up for reelection and  Boxer decided not to seek another term.

We still have two more months of this primary crap here.

Then the post season begins.

I'm too lazy to go back and look, but I'm pretty sure I was complaining about this over a year ago.

I may decide not to complain about the length of the major sport seasons again.
The policians have them beat to hell.  

yes, hell is undercapitalized 

*I miss Buck

Must be some kind of sign . . .right?

So... the past two days, at two entirely separate blogs I was reminded of something.

What was that?

Well, children way back in the early '60s Uncle Sugar saw fit to put me in a flying sardine can called a C-121.
I won't bore you with the tale of flying, facing backward for upwards of 11 hours.
Movies are more fun.



This movie is even funner*

not relevant to each other

*don't judge me, poetic license

Routine

You may have noticed there's a slight changed in the routine here at WHTPFIHC.
What is that change, you ask.
     There is less original [sic] material than before. . .   and it isn't up as early sometimes.
Why is that?
     Because change is good.
Here's today's entry:

LAW 1:
No matter how bad your last shot was, you should have Inner Peace knowing that a shittier one is yet to come. This law does not expire on the 18th hole, since it has the supernatural tendency to extend over the course of a tournament, a summer and, eventually, a lifetime.

LAW 2:
Your best round of golf will be followed almost immediately by your worst round ever. The probability of the latter increases with the number of people you tell about the former.

LAW 3:
Brand new golf balls are water-magnetic.  Though this cannot be proven in the lab, it is a known fact that the more expensive the golf ball, the greater its attraction to water. Expensive clubs have been known to be partly made with this most unusual natural alloy.

LAW 4:
Golf balls never bounce off of trees back into play.  If one does, the tree is breaking a law of the universe and should be cut down.

LAW 5:
The higher a golfer's handicap, the more qualified he deems himself as an instructor.

LAW 6:
A golfer hitting into your group will always be bigger than anyone in your group. Likewise, a group you accidentally hit into will consist of a football player, a professional wrestler, a convicted murderer and an IRS agent -- or some similar combination.

LAW 7:
All Drivers are demon-possessed.  Your Mother in Law does not come close.

LAW 8:
Golf balls from the same "sleeve" tend to follow one another, particularly out of bounds or into the water.   See LAW 3.

LAW 9:
The last three holes of a round will automatically adjust your score to what it really should be.

LAW 10:
Golf should be given up at least twice per month.

LAW 11:
All vows taken on a golf course shall be valid only until the sunset.

LAW 12:
Since bad shots come in groups of three, your fourth consecutive bad shot is really the beginning of the next group of three.

LAW 13:
If it isn't broke, try changing your grip.

LAW 14:
It's surprisingly easy to hole a 50-foot putt when you lie 8.

LAW 15:
Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.

LAW 16:
Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts.

LAW 17:
It's not a gimme if you're still 4 feet away.
 
LAW 18:
The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the centre of a very large tree.

LAW 19:
You can hit a 2-acre fairway 10% of the time, and a 2-inch branch 90% of the time.

LAW 20:
Every Time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make a double or triple bogey to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.

LAW  21:
If you want to hit a 7-iron as far as Tiger Woods does, simply try to use it to lay up just short of a water hazard.

LAW 22:
There are two things you can learn by stopping your backswing at the top and checking the position of your hands: how many hands you have, and which one is wearing the glove.
 
LAW  23:
A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.

LAW  24:
Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.

beats talking about the weather
and the cat

More of the same

The wind has blown the Muse asunder.

Moishe  Plotnik's  Laundry
(a  true  story???)

Walking  through San  Francisco 's Chinatown,  a tourist  from  the Midwest was  enjoying the artistry of all the  Chinese  restaurants, shops, signs and banners.....  .

 When  he turned a corner and saw a building with the  sign 'Moishe Plotnik's  Laundry.'

'Moishe  Plotnik?' he wondered. 'How does that belong  in Chinatown ?'

He  walked into the shop and saw a fairly standard  looking dry cleaner, although he could see that  the proprietors were clearly aware of the  uniqueness of the store name as there were  baseball hats, T-shirts and coffee mugs  emblazoned with the logo'Moishe Plotnik's  Chinese Laundry.'  The tourist selected a  coffee cup as a conversation piece to take back  to his office. Behind the counter was a smiling  old Chinese gentleman who thanked him for his  purchase.

The  tourist asked, 'Can you explain how this place  got a name like 'Moishe Plotnik's  Laundry?''

The old man  answered, 'Ah..Evleebody ask me dat. It name of  owner.'

Looking  around, the tourist asked, 'Is he here  now?'

'It  me, Me him!' replied the old  man.    Really? You’re Chinese. How did you get a Jewish name like Plotnick?
It  simple' said the old man. 'Many, many year   ago I come to thes country. I standing in  line at  ' Document Center of  Immiglation.'     Man in front of me was   man  from Poland ..'  

 'Lady  at counter look at him and say to him, 'What you  name?'

He  say to her, 'Moishe  Plotnik.'     Then  she look at me and say, 'What your  name?'

  I  say,'Sam  Ting.'  

that's the excuse I'm giving

Things I wouldn't see if I didn't check the spam folder

Sometimes the email filter sifts out useful information.

Jewish Comedians.

Some of us miss the old kind of (Yiddish) humor.  Not a single swear word in their comic routines as shown below



A car hit an elderly Jewish man.  The paramedic says, "Are you comfortable?"  The man says, "I make a good living."

I just got back from a pleasure trip.  I took my mother-in-law to the airport.

I've been in love with the same woman for 49 years.  If my wife finds out, she'll kill me!

Someone stole all my credit cards, but I won't be reporting it.  The thief spends less than my wife did.

We always hold hands.  If I let go, she shops

My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed.  My wife calls it the Dead Sea .

My wife and I revisited the hotel where we spent our wedding night.  This time I was the one who stayed in the bathroom and cried.

My wife was at the beauty shop for two hours.  That was only for the estimate.  She got a mudpack and looked great for two days.  Then the mud fell off.

The Doctor gave a man six months to live.  The man couldn't pay his bill, so the doctor gave him another six months.

The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back."  Mrs. Cohen replied, "So did my arthritis!"

Doctor: "You'll live to be 60!"  Patient:  "I AM 60!" Doctor:  "See! What did I tell you?"

A doctor held a stethoscope up to a man's chest.  The man asks, "Doc, how do I stand?
The doctor says, "That's what puzzles me!"

Patient:  "I have a ringing in my ears. " Doctor: "Don't answer!"

A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says, "You've been brought here for drinking.
The drunk says, "Okay, let's get started."

A man called his mother in Florida . "Mom, how are you?"
"Not too good," said the mother. "I've been very weak."
The son said, "Why are you so weak?"
She said, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days."
The son said, "That's terrible. Why haven't you eaten in 38 days?"
The mother answered, "Because, I didn't want my mouth to be full in
case you should call."

A Jewish man said that when he was growing up, they always had two
choices for dinner - Take it or leave it.

A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother he has a part in the play.
She asks, "What part is it?"
The boy says, "I play the part of the Jewish husband."
The mother scowls and says, "Go back and tell the teacher you want a speaking part"

Where does the Muse go on spring break?

Two things, no joke

First -
I saw this over at the BP's place.

I forget what the other thing was.

. . .and forgot to post this Friday

It's quite possible she was ahead of her time. . .

credit: BP's blog again (in the sidebar)

Sometimes they hide, too

Perhaps he should be allowed to chew on the blanket?

whatever